Small is the New Big

by Alex Morales

Along with the discoveries of the African pygmy hedgehog, pygmy goat, pygmy rhino, and the pygmy hippo in the western African region, scientists have made a shocking discovery with a new species of giraffe. In a recent exploration by the United Pygmy Foundation (UPF), Dr. Nigel Thornberry reports that his exploration team came across a herd of pygmy giraffes grazing on unexplored land. Dr. Thornberry stated, “It was a smashing find because we did not expect any animal to survive past that barren wasteland. As to why they were there, we suspect that the clay found on that land helps the giraffe digest the high fiber leaves that their diet consists of.”

The UPF wondered why an animal that evolved to have long necks had a branch that evolved into miniature creatures. To figure out the mystery, the foundation brought some back to the U.S. to study their genetic code and try to trace their evolutionary line to see when the mutation occurred.

Since these creatures are accustomed to high temperatures and roaming across the plains, they had to be taken to the park to explore and get accustomed to their new surroundings. Their small size quickly caught the attention of city-goers and they became famous overnight due to the floods of pictures and videos on social media websites like Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

The scientists later realized that they were short on funds and tried finding ways to make extra money. Without realizing it, the few dozen giraffes had quickly increased in population in less than a year. To even greater surprise, the giraffes were fully mature and at breeding age by seven months of age. Remembering that they had quickly become popular the year before, they tried selling a few for : $8,500 each. They quickly became popular with exotic animal collectors and groups with special breeding projects. In less than 5 years, the pygmy giraffe population exploded in the US and had become quite common in the pet trade industry.

Due to the population explosion, they became affordable to many and soon started appearing in homes. Their calm nature, hardiness, unlikeliness to bite, and tolerance of small children appealed to many families and soon enough they started replacing the common house cat and dog.

Dr. Nigel Thornberry informed the public about his thoughts on the pygmy giraffe in the common household and he said,“Smashing, they are marvelous! I married one, I did!.”